The Furious Case of Tony Colorado

I just saw The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button. This movie tells the tale of Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt), who mysteriously ages backward, as he lives through most of the 20th century. I would elaborate more, but it's unnecessary, just watch Forrest Gump, Seriously the plot is almost exactly the same, just switch a retard for a guy who ages backwards and a drug addict for a ballerina. Screenwriter Eric Roth penned both Gump and Button. Somebody on IMDB actually made a list of the similarities, you can check it out here.

Even as an old man Brad Pitt is better looking than I'll ever be.

I'll tell you one thing, unlike Benjamin Button, I didn't get any younger watching this movie. Button clocks in at an epic 166 mins. Now, I don't know how many hours that is, but it seemed to go on forever. A lot of people said they cried during this movie. I cried when halfway through the film, I realized I was only halfway through the film.

The first thing that pissed me off about this movie is that it's a story with in a story. The life of Benjamin Button is told through a women reading his journal to her dying mother. I hate reading, so you can imagine how angry I was to find out this movie was about somebody reading. Also what do I care if some old biddy is dying, I came to see a movie about a dude that ages backwards

The message that The Curious Case of Benjamin Button seemed to be communicating was that life is a miracle that should not be taken for granted. Most people who saw the movie appear to have been touched by this message. I was too at first. Then I realized that by spending three hours watching this movie I was taking my miraculous life for granted. In reality, I am amazed by life like once a week and I don't need a movie to show me this.

I think I had such a bad reaction to this movie because there was so much hype about it. I blame this on movie critics. For example, Bob Grimm of the Tucson Weekly wrote "The year's best looking movie." That doesn't say anything about the movie. That's not even a complete sentence. One review said, "a curiosity, you might say". When you say that your just fucking with people. Another review was "a terrific film". I heard this stuff and I thought "I have to see this movie". It's partially my fault for not realizing this is just some assholes opinion, but it's also the critics fault for presenting their opinions as undeniable facts.

So critics, let me show you how it's done. I think Benjamin Button was mediocre. While the special effects that showed how Button aged were interesting, they didn't blow me away. Like Gump, Button examines and communicates the universal experience of human life profoundly, but I thought those profound moments were few and far between in an almost three hour long movie. There were times I found myself engrossed in the movie. These were times when they showed a geriatric playing with toys, or an adolescent suffering dementia. I wished the movie had more of that type of Irony. I think this movie was almost great, but in my opinion it was the worst collaboration of director David Fincher and Brad Pitt to date.